Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
