He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This is the high leading the old right now
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
