I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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