I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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