Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
