remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
