Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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