at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
