If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
