He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
