I'm jealous of your bromance
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize