Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
