it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
