I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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