I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
