Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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