He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize