It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
