East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
