i would punch a child for taco bell
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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