i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We got so high we made milksteak
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
