What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
