It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize