They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
