There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
