im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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