If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
4 words: hood of his car
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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