I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
