i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize