I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
