How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
