Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
