Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
