I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
