Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
