just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
