doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
