Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
