maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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