So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
