You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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