so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize