Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
