Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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