I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bring me that man meat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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