well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
