I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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