i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
as a side note pls kill me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
