That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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