she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
