He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
