This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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