still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
