I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
