dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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