Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
