I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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