They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
