i think my tv is drunk
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
