oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
