After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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